I sat down on Saturday morning to review a few of the articles in KBR Magazine so that I could fulfill my commitment to a sponsor. All around me the living room was an absolute disaster and it was clear that I hadn't fulfilled my commitment to my family yet. I thought, "I'll just read, review, and publish real quick to take care of my thing first and then I'll take care of the dishes.
I thumbed through the 10th anniversary issue, skimming the article titles. Consecrated to Thee-- one of my favorite hymn lines ever. My thoughts in italics. Lord, take my life and let it be... It had already been a really tough day and feeling the burden of commitments made it tougher. Work in my heart today, please.
Broken for Christ-- Oh, I do feel broken... but maybe not for Christ... Broken & Spilled Out-- Man, broken yes, but spilled out? I read the opening line of the article, "...Think of the things that we often break, causing them to be useful. Horses. Eggs. Stained glass. People are the same way. If we do not surrender our lives to God, we are useless to Him." (Article by Emily Bosley, page 9) I was feeling pretty useless, having spent the previous few days in bed. Surrounded by half-finished cleaning projects, filthy floors, and lots of sick people who needed showers but had no clean towels, I started to tear up. I'm very broken, Lord. Help me spill myself out for You.
I turned the page. A Poured Out Life, a savor of Christ was the next article, this one by Megan Roach. Savor of Christ. Doesn't that speak volumes! This pull-quote explained the concept perfectly: "As we empty ourselves & let the Spirit fill us, our fragrance will be sweet indeed." If I sacrificed my comfort and just went and washed those towels, this could be literal too! Ha.
To be honest, I was feeling pretty awful about myself by now. I don't know about you, but when I finally see my sin, it can be hard to not let the feeling of guilt overwhelm and paralyze me. Surrender: A Sacrifice Far Too Small was the next article. Surrender everything, even the guilt, Olivia. I sobbed a little more. The opposite page had wonderful short article called Vessels For The Master. This isn't about you, girl. It's about Him. Lord Your Will Be Done is the article on page 14. Only halfway through this magazine. I don't think I can write about this today. Does My Life Bear The Fragrance Of Christ? was the next eye-catching title. Not today, it doesn't! That's it. I'm pouring myself out in service to my family now and forgetting my own commitments.
I quickly scanned the rest of the magazine before I stood up to work. The Command With A Promise, Communicating with Our Savior, Let Us Walk In The Spirit, and Loving Jesus were the other titles that spoke to my heart in a split second. Herbal Remedies, healthy recipes, an article on purity, and one on Beautiful Daughterhood are just a couple of the other heart-warming, wholesome encouragements The King's Blooming Rose Magazine offers. I haven't finished reading all the articles, but I feel confident that you, too, will be spiritually lifted up by this wonderful publication. Wishing I had taken the time to read the sample issues Sarah the editor sent me months ago!
KBR is offering to give away a 1-year subscription to KBR magazine to one Fresh Modesty reader! Here's the Rafflecopter widget for you to enter:
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I highly encourage everyone who doesn't win ;) to subscribe for just $12.00/ year donation. Click HERE for more information.
KBR is having their first mothers-and-daughters conference this year! This looks like a great opportunity to be blessed and to meet other like-minded daughters from across the country. I get a lot of emails from girls wondering how they can meet friends that would encourage them in their walk with the Lord and this Joyful Daughters conference is my current recommendation. :) You can click HERE for more information on that.
I'm tempted to stop my little heart story right where it is: sounding like I was a happy, blessed, joyful servant-hearted surrendered daughter of the King the rest of the day thanks to the article titles, that I got the house tidy, that I smiled and blessed others by creating a stress-free home environment. But that's not how the day went down. Being real is my policy, so I'll finish the story.
I did clean the kitchen, but I sobbed the whole time, completely exhausted from struggling to do every day should-be-simple tasks. I thought I had composed myself, but the more I thought about what I needed to work on to get the house back in shape, the more overwhelmed I got. Still pouring tears 3 hours later, my family begged me to go for a drive and calm down. So much for being a fragrance of Christ, eh? So I did. I drove to a town I'd never been to before, found a Sonic, wandered around a Dollar Tree, and bought a trash can.
You girls know I don't air my dirty laundry without a reason (more explanation in the post Reality) so my point is this: we all struggle. We all have seasons of selfishness, of asking "WHY?!", of getting tired of striving endlessly. We need the gospel every day. We need a deeper understanding of who we are, who Christ is, and what He has done for us (regardless of our actions!). Praise the Lord for the reminders of His love that come in many different ways! Last Saturday, that reminder came to me in the form of The King's Blooming Rose Magazine and a GMO-filled pineapple shake with a cherry. I hope you can be blessed by KBR Ministries, too.
I am hoping the same best effort from you in the future as well. In fact your creative writing skills has inspired me.
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